D'yew want your chillins to go to Harvard?

We almost do. Not. Our best-selling One Up! is a no-brainer favorite because it's devilish fun for quick-witted kids (just ask Christian Schmidt and his Basis Oro Valley classmates), while teaching them a valuable lesson: taking things that don't belong to you, not education, gets you ahead in life.

Seriously, it's a proven fact that our cutthroat word game is the best way to get the zombieenagers out of the house… and into the Ivy League. And it'll make mom and dad happy, and proud too – while saving a boatload of tuition fees in the bargain.

It's like Scrabble and Bananagrams, but way faster and funner.

One Up! takes a nimble mind, as everyone tries to be the first person to make a word from the tiles that are turned over in the center: first an "A", then an "R" and then a "T". Shout it out, and don't be shy: "ART!" Wait a sec – the game has a cool, cutthroat twist: any player's words can be stolen by anyone else by simply adding a letter. If an "M" is turned over, and since you already have the word "ART", I can call out "MART" and take it from you. It's my word now, so pound sand.

But you can snatch it back if an "S" is flipped over and you yell out "SMART." Damn. No board. No complicated rules. No monkeying around – just wicked/smart, fast and cheap thrills anytime, anywhere – guaranteed.

Calling all smart-alecky cheapskates.

We are happy to introduce One Up! as a free PDF download, which includes the rules and complete construction instructions. Many vocabularians the world over have written to tell us that they just can't afford One Up!, so we decided to give everyone everywhere the means and the method to make their own. Let's call it Operation Brainstorm, and make it our mission in life to word the world up!

Here's how we did it: first we pasted the tile sheet onto a piece of black construction paper before cutting out the letters, carefully. We then spray painted an Altoids tin silver, slapped on the logo, and bob's your uncle. Total time was less than an hour and the cost was under a buck — but the reward'll be a million hours of terrific frustration.

"I don't like word games."

"But I know how to take things." "Wicked/Smart – the designer must be from Boston." "What's wicked smart?" "Not you." "Can we keep it, please?" "Awesome!"

Boated in to Stony Creek Brewery in Branford this afternoon and had a fantastic time showing a table-full of lovely ladies how to One Up! Sat down with the soured double IPA 'Crimsang' and needed to take my tonsils out of my back pocket after the first sip – yikes, and wow – but all in all it was the best day at work ever.

"Hi, I'm Cate. My Dad invented this really cool game."

Our youngest makes the pitch… to get paid.

"We never leave home without it."

One Up! is the perfect travel companion – never complains, doesn't eat much... and is always game. Ha!

Seriously, stick it into your backpack/purse/carry-on and you'll never be bored again: a million words and hours of fun in your pocket, so-to-speak, wherever your pants are traveling.

The Perfect Cure for Cabin Fever.

Thanks to Real Simple for letting your readers in on a real smart way to spend those long, cold winter nights.

Monopoly for the 21st Century.

Let's face it, your memories of playing Monopoly probably involve your grandmother, several cousins you couldn't stand, and an obnoxious uncle, all crammed into a tiny cabin up at Lake Winnipesaukee sometime circa 1983 for a week of your life you'll never get back. Really? ONEUPMANSHIP is the perfect 21st Century antidote to vague and dusty memories of a mediocre childhood game that you probably never once finished, and a great way to hammer home a valuable life lesson in 2 hilarious cutthroat hours – making money is not only awesome, winning is AWESOMER.

Hey, Player.

For any questions or comments (from the peanut gallery/Ivory Tower), or if you just want to say hello, don't hesitate to ring us up on 203.451.5127, email us at johnnymustard@oneupmanship.com or why not pop by the studio — 202 (bis) Georgetown Road, Weston, Connetiquette 06883 – door's always open.

To the mind that is still the whole universe surrenders.

Sign up now for more wicked/cool wordaliciousness.

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"Wit is Educated Insolence."- Aristotle