ONEUPMANSHIP is an open invitation to everyone who's sick to death of video games, or hates the idea of playing the same-old tired, unfun "classics", or who doesn't find card games for horrible people particularly entertaining. We don't think there's anything wrong with being a "heartless, cutthroat S.O.B." or a "smelly, basement-dwelling capitalist swine" is there? Of course not. The only question is, then, are you ready to rumble?
ONEUPMANSHIP is all about having fun with family and friends. No it's not, it's about winning — pure and simple. Just kidding! Play the game like you have a pair: Buy low, sell high. Wheel and deal. Then double deal. Live large. Lose huge. My building's bigger. 25 pushups? Boom. Boom. Boom. Trophy Wife swap, anyone? Indian Arm Wrestling... ha, piece of cake. Yikes! Bankruptcy happens. The first player to reach $100,000 without losing their shorts (so-to-speak), wins.
You can buy "quality" time. Normally it's 50 bucks (right button). But we've got a wicked pre-Xmas sale going on right now:
This deluxe version includes 4 custom pawns, a Scarlet Letter "B" pin, and a vial of "Bitter Pills". Nice package. Wait a sec... we're also going to throw in a limited-edition "Man Up." t-shirt — a rallying cry for unfunny uncles and money-grubbing grandmas everywhere. Bring ONEUPMANSHIP to your next get-together and we guarantee you'll be the hero. Unless your friends/in-laws/loved ones are humorless losers.
"I'm just your average 21 year old, sometimes sober college student training to be a chef at the Culinary Institute of America. One of my friends recently told me about this new game he'd gotten called ONEUPMANSHIP, and how much fun it was. So one Saturday night we broke it out and played. I got the 'Knuckles' card and my hand is still killing me!" — Jonathan Ikegana, Hyde Park, NY.
First off, are you recalcitrant and brainy? Love words? Hyper-competitive? Not above a little larceny? Then you'll definitely love One Up! — it's fast, quick, hard as hell and makes a virtue of a vice that's also incredibly addictive: taking things that don't belong to you. So use the intellectual soup you've got in the kitchen, so-to-speak, to snatch other people's words with impunity – and find out oh what fun it is to win.
If you're not quite ready to play ONEUPMANSHIP, you can at least get one of our UP-i-tee shirts and look like you know what you're doing. Flavor of the month is MAN UP. Comeuppance – Just Deserts in Can is the perfect gift for anyone who's got it coming. Secret is: there's something inside but the lid is glued shut so you can never find out what it is. Ha. "One Up!" (on sale now) is a hilarious word party game for people who like to steal. Don't bother buying it unless you're the sharpest tool in the shed, because you will lose bad.
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If you'd like to contact us to – ask a question (please make it short, relevant, and easy to answer); register an above-the-belt criticism or complaint; pay us a compliment, or many; waste our time and yours with trivialities or trolling; or just to say hello – at least do it with some vim and panache: email@example.com
"Do you drink? Heavily? Are you louche and fatuous? Unhappy? Skint? Then go grab a cheap case or a bottle right away and push it down. Empty your head, if it isn't already empty. Shovel off your desk and get your calendar on the right year at least. How's your mother, by the way?"